Advice for my younger self

I have reached that point in my life where I can look back as much as I can see forward. Usually referred to as “middle age,” I prefer to call it the Age of Wisdom. Not that I have mastered wisdom by any stretch of the imagination, but I am certainly wiser than I once was, like, say in my wild 20s and growing-pain 30s.


Throughout my life, I have more often than not gone against the grain. Reflecting back, the times that I went with the grain created more impediments and barriers for me, even though going with the grain “should” make your life easier. What does going “with the grain” look like? Job security, check. RRSPs, check. Home ownership, check. New car, check. None of those things brought me happiness.

So what does it mean to go against the grain? Bucking trends. Avoiding herd mentality. Going it alone. Breaking rules…. essentially, creative expression and freedom. As the staying goes, a rolling stone gathers no moss.

As I approach my fiftieth decade in this meat suit on plant Earth, I am finding myself feeling the opposite from what I had anticipated I would feel like at this age. I presumed I would feel settled, content, comfortable. Instead, I am feeling restless — again — and having a bigger pull than ever to keep the rolling stone in motion. Perhaps once a wild soul always a wild soul. Maybe there is no such thing as taming a wild horse – maybe it’s just breaking its spirit.

On Saturday, I had a day of self-care with a lovely woman who is on a mission to help many other women look and feel beautiful and younger – ultimately their best. Vian Sharef is a single mother who I admire because she has not had an easy life and in spite of it has created tremendous success, and who I have put my complete trust into caring for my skin (listen to my interview with Vian about anti-aging secrets).

Vian Sharef, owner, Dermedix, interview on Shannon Skinner Live on VoiceAmerica Women

Vian Sharef

After my session, I came home and looked in the mirror and asked myself a quality question: given all that I know today, what would I say to my younger self if she was present with me in this room?

I would say this:

Learn to love yourself from the inside-out and don’t focus on the outer package because, inevitably, one day the outer packaging will change.

Education and higher learning is one my top values. It hasn’t always been, but most certainly since my late twenties after an accident changed my life. As I am presently in the midst of writing final exams for a wine specialist course I am taking, mostly out of personal interest, I asked myself why I put myself through the stress of studying and taking exams. But now I remembered why.

And I continue my path of developing a beautiful mind.

Leave a Reply