December 2015

Dec 31 2015

 A new year is dawning and it’s the time of the year when we want a fresh start; to wipe the slate clean and start over. 


We’re going to change our ways, right?  But as Marshall Goldsmith says in his new book, Triggers - “meaningful behavioral change is very hard to do.”


In fact he has come up with 16 belief triggers that can hinder our quest to change.  As we work on our resolutions and goals for 2016, we may want to keep these triggers in mind, so we don’t self-sabotage our efforts to change.


1.     If I understand, I will do
There is a big difference between understanding and doing.  Just think of the big plans you had after attending a conference, and how when you got home, those ideas never materialized.   

2.     I have willpower and won’t give in to temptation
Few of us foresee the challenges we will face. Something always comes up to sink our boat.  This belief is triggered by overconfidence.

3.     Today is a special day
We pick a date to start but likely there will be momentary lapses and we can’t just self-exempt ourselves every time.

4.     At least I am better than….
Other people have to change more than we do.  We’re not the worst and so we use that excuse to take it easy and lower the bar.

5.     I shouldn’t need help and structure
Marshall believes one of our most dysfunctional beliefs is our contempt for simplicity and structure.   We have faith that we can succeed on our own.

6.     I won’t get tired and my enthusiasm will not fade
We rarely realize that self-control is a limited resource.

7.     I have all the time in the world
We totally underestimate the time it takes to get stuff done and we believe time is open-ended, all of which leads to procrastination.

8.     I won’t get distracted and nothing unexpected will happen.
Reality is that we seldom plan or allow for distractions. We have unrealistic expectations of what we can achieve.

9.     An epiphany will suddenly change my life
Often this is when we hit rock bottom, and for a while we “see the light.” Marshall calls this magical thinking.  He’s skeptical of the instant conversion experience.  Yes, there may be change in the short term, but it is not likely to be long-lasting because it is based on impulse.

10.  My change will be permanent and I will never have to worry again
He compares this belief to the fairy tale ending of “happily ever after” which isn’t based in reality.

11.  My elimination of old problems will not bring on new problems.
Reality is that fast as we get rid of old problems, new ones will arise. 


12.  My efforts will be fairly rewarded
This, argues Goldsmith, is a childhood fantasy that all is fair in the world.  If you are only pursuing change for external rewards – like making more money – it’s not going to work well for you.  Getting better has its own rewards.

13.  No one is paying attention to me
Therefore no one will notice if you lapse.  When we revert back to old behaviour, people always notice.

14.  If I change, I am “inauthentic”
Sometimes we refuse to adapt to new situations because “it isn’t me.”  For example, saying that “I am not good at giving positive recognition.  That’s just not me.”

15.  I have the wisdom to assess my own behaviour
But are you being objective?  Often we credit successes to our efforts while the failures are caused by others.

16.  My environment is my friend

We think we are in sync with our environment, but actually it’s at war with us claims Goldsmith. Throughout our day we enter new environments which can change our behaviour in sly ways, and we need to pay more attention to its influence on us.


It’s a daunting list isn’t it?  Makes you wonder why we bother, but if we don’t change and grow we can become stagnant and too set in our ways. 


Goldsmith goes on to provide strategies to make the changes you want in your life and your business.  Using the Wheel of Change, he recommends you


  • ·      create something new,
  • ·      preserve what’s working for you,
  • ·      eliminate what isn’t, and
  • ·      accept what you can’t change.



Then to keep you on track, he has come up with daily questions to ask yourself, so you can measure not just how well you are doing but how much you are trying to change.


As Goldsmith shares no one can make us change unless we truly want to change.  The key there is self-awareness, of knowing where you need to change how you behave, how you think and how you show up in the world.  And that takes some tough introspection on your part.  






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Dec 31 2015

 A new year is dawning and it’s the time of the year when we want a fresh start; to wipe the slate clean and start over. 


We’re going to change our ways, right?  But as Marshall Goldsmith says in his new book, Triggers - “meaningful behavioral change is very hard to do.”


In fact he has come up with 16 belief triggers that can hinder our quest to change.  As we work on our resolutions and goals for 2016, we may want to keep these triggers in mind, so we don’t self-sabotage our efforts to change.


1.     If I understand, I will do
There is a big difference between understanding and doing.  Just think of the big plans you had after attending a conference, and how when you got home, those ideas never materialized.   

2.     I have willpower and won’t give in to temptation
Few of us foresee the challenges we will face. Something always comes up to sink our boat.  This belief is triggered by overconfidence.

3.     Today is a special day
We pick a date to start but likely there will be momentary lapses and we can’t just self-exempt ourselves every time.

4.     At least I am better than….
Other people have to change more than we do.  We’re not the worst and so we use that excuse to take it easy and lower the bar.

5.     I shouldn’t need help and structure
Marshall believes one of our most dysfunctional beliefs is our contempt for simplicity and structure.   We have faith that we can succeed on our own.

6.     I won’t get tired and my enthusiasm will not fade
We rarely realize that self-control is a limited resource.

7.     I have all the time in the world
We totally underestimate the time it takes to get stuff done and we believe time is open-ended, all of which leads to procrastination.

8.     I won’t get distracted and nothing unexpected will happen.
Reality is that we seldom plan or allow for distractions. We have unrealistic expectations of what we can achieve.

9.     An epiphany will suddenly change my life
Often this is when we hit rock bottom, and for a while we “see the light.” Marshall calls this magical thinking.  He’s skeptical of the instant conversion experience.  Yes, there may be change in the short term, but it is not likely to be long-lasting because it is based on impulse.

10.  My change will be permanent and I will never have to worry again
He compares this belief to the fairy tale ending of “happily ever after” which isn’t based in reality.

11.  My elimination of old problems will not bring on new problems.
Reality is that fast as we get rid of old problems, new ones will arise. 


12.  My efforts will be fairly rewarded
This, argues Goldsmith, is a childhood fantasy that all is fair in the world.  If you are only pursuing change for external rewards – like making more money – it’s not going to work well for you.  Getting better has its own rewards.

13.  No one is paying attention to me
Therefore no one will notice if you lapse.  When we revert back to old behaviour, people always notice.

14.  If I change, I am “inauthentic”
Sometimes we refuse to adapt to new situations because “it isn’t me.”  For example, saying that “I am not good at giving positive recognition.  That’s just not me.”

15.  I have the wisdom to assess my own behaviour
But are you being objective?  Often we credit successes to our efforts while the failures are caused by others.

16.  My environment is my friend

We think we are in sync with our environment, but actually it’s at war with us claims Goldsmith. Throughout our day we enter new environments which can change our behaviour in sly ways, and we need to pay more attention to its influence on us.


It’s a daunting list isn’t it?  Makes you wonder why we bother, but if we don’t change and grow we can become stagnant and too set in our ways. 


Goldsmith goes on to provide strategies to make the changes you want in your life and your business.  Using the Wheel of Change, he recommends you


  • ·      create something new,
  • ·      preserve what’s working for you,
  • ·      eliminate what isn’t, and
  • ·      accept what you can’t change.



Then to keep you on track, he has come up with daily questions to ask yourself, so you can measure not just how well you are doing but how much you are trying to change.


As Goldsmith shares no one can make us change unless we truly want to change.  The key there is self-awareness, of knowing where you need to change how you behave, how you think and how you show up in the world.  And that takes some tough introspection on your part.  






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Dec 31 2015
Another year passed, can you believe it? What did 2015 teach you? What did you learn? What did you love? What are you grateful for that happened? What do you regret happened? A new beginning is upon us, 2016. With … Continue reading more...

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Dec 31 2015

It’s hard to believe another year has flown by and I’ve spent hundreds of hours browsing thousands of online dating profiles for men. I’ve put in my share of 10,000+ hours on multiple online dating sites and various dating apps. I am uniquely qualified to share these 4 important online dating tips for men in […]

The post 4 Important Online Dating Tips For Men in 2016 appeared first on Carmelia Ray.

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Dec 31 2015
I’m a planner. I’m a goal-setter. There is no question or doubt that I am getting ready to finalize my goals for 2016 – however, I also make time to reflect and review the year that is coming to an end. I believe it’s important to celebrate my achievements to day – to pay attention... more...

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Dec 30 2015

Trailer for Diana Vreeland: The Eye Has to Travel

 'She had this taste for the extraordinary...she took the mundane and the mediocre and she made it ravishing, and she made it OK for women to be ambitious, for women to be outlandish and extraordinary and for women to garner attention.' - Anjelica Houston


I’ve been asked what criteria I use to determine whether or not someone is a “Scandalous Woman?”  Most of the women that I have written about were either Scandalous for their love lives or because they operated outside the normal boundaries of society as they were dictated by the mores of the time.  For example, Elizabeth Blackwell would be considered scandalous because she dared to apply to medical school to become a doctor in the 1840’s, at a time when women were barely educated apart from reading, writing, and a little light math. Exploring the sciences considered beyond a women’s intelligence.


So why Diana Vreeland one might ask? Why write about her? Most people, if they think of Vreeland of all, have an image of a woman with helmet like black hair, wearing a great deal of rouge, making pronouncements like ‘Pink is the navy blue of India.’ Recently I took a documentary out of the library entitled ‘Diana Vreeland: The Eye Has to Travel’ directed by Lisa Immordino Vreeland, her granddaughter-in-law.  Watching the film, seeing how Vreeland reinvented herself over the years, moving from Harper’s Bazaar to Vogueas editor-in-chief at an age when most people are retiring, I was inspired by her joie-de-vivre, by her ability to look ahead when others were looking back.  For a woman who was largely self-educated, what she accomplished in her lifetime was quite remarkable. Like many Scandalous Women, Vreeland was her greatest creation.



By the time of her death in 1989 at the age of 85, Vreeland was a cultural icon. She’d inspired a one-woman Off-Broadway show starring Mary Louise Wilson, she was the inspiration for Kay Thompson’s character in the film Funny Face.  In the 1941 musical Lady in the Dark by Moss Hart, Kurt Weill and Ira Gershwin the character of Alison Du Bois was based on Vreeland. She even advised Jackie Kennedy on what to wear when she became First Lady helping to connect her with designers such as Oleg Cassini. Not many magazine editors become celebrities in their own right, Vreeland was one of the first. She appeared on TV talk shows, talking about fashion, that it was an important part of history. Whippet thin, she was instantly recognizable with her jet black hair, scarlet fingernails and rouged cheeks and ears. Red was her signature color from her nails, lips, cheeks to her the living room in her Park Avenue apartment which she had designed to look like ‘a garden in hell.’


Diana Vreeland went to work, at a time when women of her social class spent most of their time doing charity work, those ‘ladies who lunch,’ when they weren’t playing tennis at the country club. While living in London, she opened a lingerie shop.  When she and her husband moved back to the states, she went to work as an editor at Harper’s Bazaar, moving from writing a column entitled ‘Why Don’t You?” to becoming the fashion editor for the magazine for 26 years. How did she get the job? Well Carmel Snow, the legendary editor of Harper’s Bazaar, saw Vreeland dancing at the St. Regis hotel, wearing a white Chanel lace dress with a bolero, roses in her dark hair. Snow was struck by Vreeland’s innate sense of style and offered her a job. It came at the perfect time, although her husband was lucky enough to have a job during the Great Depression, the couple were going through money like an alcoholic goes through vodka.  Money was incredibly important to her and she made no secret of it. Vreeland worked for a living until she was too ill to be productive.





Some of her suggestions for her column are hilarious, for example dressing a child like a Spanish Infanta for a fancy-dress party or wearing 12 diamond roses but the message was clear. Why be dull when you can be interesting? It was a mantra that Vreeland lived by.  As a child, she was told by her mother Emily, “It’s too bad that you have such a beautiful sister and that you are so extremely ugly and so terribly jealous of her. This, of course, is why you are so impossible to deal with.” Awesome parenting skills there Mom! You know that old saying ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.” Diana and her American debutante mother had a contentious relationship although it turns out, they had a lot in common. Her mother was a free-spirited woman who hung out with a bohemian crowd, and was involved in a divorce scandal. All her life, Diana Vreeland was looking for someone to idealize, to look up to, but never found her. Instead, she turned herself into someone that others could idealize and look up to! How clever is that? To become the thing that you were looking for? Like the Duchess of Windsor, Diana realized that dressing well was the best revenge. She might not be the most beautiful woman but she would be the best dressed woman.


On the other hand, Diana worshipped her handsome father Frederick Dalziel who she resembled. Although he came from a middle-class background in England, her father successfully cultivated an upper-class mien which went over well when her parents moved from Paris to New York soon after she was born. Although she later wrote that she grew up in Paris, in a home where Diaghilev and Nijinsky were regular visitors, she actually grew up in New York. Paris, however, would always be her spiritual home. Her husband Reed Vreeland, a handsome, impeccably dressed Yale graduate who worked as a banker, had many of the same qualities as her father, along with one additional one, an inability to be faithful. Still they remained married for 43 years until his death in 1966 from cancer. His love gave her the self-assurance that she was lacking. True to her nature, instead of wearing black for mourning, she wore red. Their two sons were something of an afterthought in their parents’ mad, social whirl. While she may have been a distant mother, she was a warm and generous grandmother and great-grandmother in her later years.


Vreeland redefined the role of fashion editor at Harper’s Bazaar. Fashion shoots no longer featured society types wearing the latest fashions.  Vreeland used professional models, including Lauren Bacall who was featured on the cover of the magazine.  “Today only personality counts…I do not believe we should put in the magazine so-called society, as it is démodé and practically doesn’t exist….but ravishing personalities are the most riveting things in the world.” While at Bazaar, Vreeland popularized the turtleneck and the bikini which scandalized America. Vreeland later featured a photo of Mick Jagger in Vogue magazine before the Rolling Stones were a huge success simply because she liked his look.  She had her finger in every aspect of the photo shoot, she oversaw the photography and worked with the models to create the look that she was going for. Diana and her husband also entertained all the European emigres at their apartment on Park Avenue and their country home in Westchester.


When Carmel Snow retired, Vreeland was passed over as editor-in-chief of the magazine (apparently Snow thought Vreeland didn’t have what it takes for the top job), the job went Snow’s niece Nancy White instead. Vreeland stuck it out for a few more years before Vogue (now owned by the Newhouse family) snapped her up after she charmed Mitzi Newhouse. Despite publicly stating that she wouldn’t change anything in the magazine, Vreeland swept in and changed everything! It was the swinging sixties and Vreeland, at the age of 60, embraced all that was new particularly the fashions, models and photographers coming out of Great Britain. Vreeland also pushed for models who weren’t perfect or were unusual like Twiggy, Penelope Tree, Edie Sedgwick, Anjelica Houston, Veruschka and Lauren Hutton. She didn’t want cookie cutter blondes or brunettes, she wanted individuals with personality who turned their flaws into assets the way that she had. "If you had a bump on your nose, it made no difference so long as you had a marvelous body and good carriage." What’s amazing as that she managed to accomplish so much despite never arriving at the office before noon! (She made up for by staying at the office sometimes ‘til midnight, fortifying herself with a peanut butter and honey sandwich, a glass of scotch and a shot of B-12 at lunch.)  


Vreeland lasted only 8 years at Vogue done in by the expensive photo shoots (Vreeland thought nothing of sending a photographer to photograph white tigers in India and then not using the photos in the magazine) and the changing times. Vreeland’s Voguewas all about fantasy and not the reality of women’s lives in the 1970’s. Vreeland always had her detractors, while many found her visionary, others found her erratic, impossible, abrasive and clueless. After she was fired from Vogue, she went to work as a consultant for the Metropolitan Museum of Art, curating the annual fashion exhibition for the Costume Institute. It was a job that she initially thought she wasn’t right for since she didn’t come from an academic background but she was just what the museum needed. She had an eye for what would draw people to the museum. From her first show on Balenciaga in 1973 until 1987, Vreeland put on 15 exhibitions and put the Costume Institute on the map.  Shows on Costume in Film, La Belle Époque, the 18th Century Woman, and Russian Costume, the exhibitions were incredibly popular. Although it’s now called the Anna Wintour Costume Institute, it really should be named after Vreeland who put the institute on the map. Or at least have a gallery named after her (that’s my humble and cranky opinion).

Vreeland was true American original, forward thinking, but eccentric individual. She’s a reminder that there not only second acts in life but also third and fourth. They don’t make them like her anymore and it’s a damn shame. 

Further reading:

Alexander Vreeland (editor): Diana Vreeland: The Modern Woman: The Bazaar Years, 1936-1962, Rizzoli, 2015
Amanda Mackenzie Stuart: Empress of Fashion - A Life of Diana Vreeland, Harper 2012
Diana Vreeland: D.V., Knopf, 1984
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Dec 30 2015

Trailer for Diana Vreeland: The Eye Has to Travel

 'She had this taste for the extraordinary...she took the mundane and the mediocre and she made it ravishing, and she made it OK for women to be ambitious, for women to be outlandish and extraordinary and for women to garner attention.' - Anjelica Houston


I’ve been asked what criteria I use to determine whether or not someone is a “Scandalous Woman?”  Most of the women that I have written about were either Scandalous for their love lives or because they operated outside the normal boundaries of society as they were dictated by the mores of the time.  For example, Elizabeth Blackwell would be considered scandalous because she dared to apply to medical school to become a doctor in the 1840’s, at a time when women were barely educated apart from reading, writing, and a little light math. Exploring the sciences considered beyond a women’s intelligence.


So why Diana Vreeland one might ask? Why write about her? Most people, if they think of Vreeland of all, have an image of a woman with helmet like black hair, wearing a great deal of rouge, making pronouncements like ‘Pink is the navy blue of India.’ Recently I took a documentary out of the library entitled ‘Diana Vreeland: The Eye Has to Travel’ directed by Lisa Immordino Vreeland, her granddaughter-in-law.  Watching the film, seeing how Vreeland reinvented herself over the years, moving from Harper’s Bazaar to Vogueas editor-in-chief at an age when most people are retiring, I was inspired by her joie-de-vivre, by her ability to look ahead when others were looking back.  For a woman who was largely self-educated, what she accomplished in her lifetime was quite remarkable. Like many Scandalous Women, Vreeland was her greatest creation.



By the time of her death in 1989 at the age of 85, Vreeland was a cultural icon. She’d inspired a one-woman Off-Broadway show starring Mary Louise Wilson, she was the inspiration for Kay Thompson’s character in the film Funny Face.  In the 1941 musical Lady in the Dark by Moss Hart, Kurt Weill and Ira Gershwin the character of Alison Du Bois was based on Vreeland. She even advised Jackie Kennedy on what to wear when she became First Lady helping to connect her with designers such as Oleg Cassini. Not many magazine editors become celebrities in their own right, Vreeland was one of the first. She appeared on TV talk shows, talking about fashion, that it was an important part of history. Whippet thin, she was instantly recognizable with her jet black hair, scarlet fingernails and rouged cheeks and ears. Red was her signature color from her nails, lips, cheeks to her the living room in her Park Avenue apartment which she had designed to look like ‘a garden in hell.’


Diana Vreeland went to work, at a time when women of her social class spent most of their time doing charity work, those ‘ladies who lunch,’ when they weren’t playing tennis at the country club. While living in London, she opened a lingerie shop.  When she and her husband moved back to the states, she went to work as an editor at Harper’s Bazaar, moving from writing a column entitled ‘Why Don’t You?” to becoming the fashion editor for the magazine for 26 years. How did she get the job? Well Carmel Snow, the legendary editor of Harper’s Bazaar, saw Vreeland dancing at the St. Regis hotel, wearing a white Chanel lace dress with a bolero, roses in her dark hair. Snow was struck by Vreeland’s innate sense of style and offered her a job. It came at the perfect time, although her husband was lucky enough to have a job during the Great Depression, the couple were going through money like an alcoholic goes through vodka.  Money was incredibly important to her and she made no secret of it. Vreeland worked for a living until she was too ill to be productive.





Some of her suggestions for her column are hilarious, for example dressing a child like a Spanish Infanta for a fancy-dress party or wearing 12 diamond roses but the message was clear. Why be dull when you can be interesting? It was a mantra that Vreeland lived by.  As a child, she was told by her mother Emily, “It’s too bad that you have such a beautiful sister and that you are so extremely ugly and so terribly jealous of her. This, of course, is why you are so impossible to deal with.” Awesome parenting skills there Mom! You know that old saying ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.” Diana and her American debutante mother had a contentious relationship although it turns out, they had a lot in common. Her mother was a free-spirited woman who hung out with a bohemian crowd, and was involved in a divorce scandal. All her life, Diana Vreeland was looking for someone to idealize, to look up to, but never found her. Instead, she turned herself into someone that others could idealize and look up to! How clever is that? To become the thing that you were looking for? Like the Duchess of Windsor, Diana realized that dressing well was the best revenge. She might not be the most beautiful woman but she would be the best dressed woman.


On the other hand, Diana worshipped her handsome father Frederick Dalziel who she resembled. Although he came from a middle-class background in England, her father successfully cultivated an upper-class mien which went over well when her parents moved from Paris to New York soon after she was born. Although she later wrote that she grew up in Paris, in a home where Diaghilev and Nijinsky were regular visitors, she actually grew up in New York. Paris, however, would always be her spiritual home. Her husband Reed Vreeland, a handsome, impeccably dressed Yale graduate who worked as a banker, had many of the same qualities as her father, along with one additional one, an inability to be faithful. Still they remained married for 43 years until his death in 1966 from cancer. His love gave her the self-assurance that she was lacking. True to her nature, instead of wearing black for mourning, she wore red. Their two sons were something of an afterthought in their parents’ mad, social whirl. While she may have been a distant mother, she was a warm and generous grandmother and great-grandmother in her later years.


Vreeland redefined the role of fashion editor at Harper’s Bazaar. Fashion shoots no longer featured society types wearing the latest fashions.  Vreeland used professional models, including Lauren Bacall who was featured on the cover of the magazine.  “Today only personality counts…I do not believe we should put in the magazine so-called society, as it is démodé and practically doesn’t exist….but ravishing personalities are the most riveting things in the world.” While at Bazaar, Vreeland popularized the turtleneck and the bikini which scandalized America. Vreeland later featured a photo of Mick Jagger in Vogue magazine before the Rolling Stones were a huge success simply because she liked his look.  She had her finger in every aspect of the photo shoot, she oversaw the photography and worked with the models to create the look that she was going for. Diana and her husband also entertained all the European emigres at their apartment on Park Avenue and their country home in Westchester.


When Carmel Snow retired, Vreeland was passed over as editor-in-chief of the magazine (apparently Snow thought Vreeland didn’t have what it takes for the top job), the job went Snow’s niece Nancy White instead. Vreeland stuck it out for a few more years before Vogue (now owned by the Newhouse family) snapped her up after she charmed Mitzi Newhouse. Despite publicly stating that she wouldn’t change anything in the magazine, Vreeland swept in and changed everything! It was the swinging sixties and Vreeland, at the age of 60, embraced all that was new particularly the fashions, models and photographers coming out of Great Britain. Vreeland also pushed for models who weren’t perfect or were unusual like Twiggy, Penelope Tree, Edie Sedgwick, Anjelica Houston, Veruschka and Lauren Hutton. She didn’t want cookie cutter blondes or brunettes, she wanted individuals with personality who turned their flaws into assets the way that she had. "If you had a bump on your nose, it made no difference so long as you had a marvelous body and good carriage." What’s amazing as that she managed to accomplish so much despite never arriving at the office before noon! (She made up for by staying at the office sometimes ‘til midnight, fortifying herself with a peanut butter and honey sandwich, a glass of scotch and a shot of B-12 at lunch.)  


Vreeland lasted only 8 years at Vogue done in by the expensive photo shoots (Vreeland thought nothing of sending a photographer to photograph white tigers in India and then not using the photos in the magazine) and the changing times. Vreeland’s Voguewas all about fantasy and not the reality of women’s lives in the 1970’s. Vreeland always had her detractors, while many found her visionary, others found her erratic, impossible, abrasive and clueless. After she was fired from Vogue, she went to work as a consultant for the Metropolitan Museum of Art, curating the annual fashion exhibition for the Costume Institute. It was a job that she initially thought she wasn’t right for since she didn’t come from an academic background but she was just what the museum needed. She had an eye for what would draw people to the museum. From her first show on Balenciaga in 1973 until 1987, Vreeland put on 15 exhibitions and put the Costume Institute on the map.  Shows on Costume in Film, La Belle Époque, the 18th Century Woman, and Russian Costume, the exhibitions were incredibly popular. Although it’s now called the Anna Wintour Costume Institute, it really should be named after Vreeland who put the institute on the map. Or at least have a gallery named after her (that’s my humble and cranky opinion).

Vreeland was true American original, forward thinking, but eccentric individual. She’s a reminder that there not only second acts in life but also third and fourth. They don’t make them like her anymore and it’s a damn shame. 

Further reading:

Alexander Vreeland (editor): Diana Vreeland: The Modern Woman: The Bazaar Years, 1936-1962, Rizzoli, 2015
Amanda Mackenzie Stuart: Empress of Fashion - A Life of Diana Vreeland, Harper 2012
Diana Vreeland: D.V., Knopf, 1984
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Dec 30 2015

We have all been there, standing in front of your closet, wrapped in a robe thinking “now, what am I going to wear?” Our co-founder Kristy Wieber, sat down with Canadian Retailer Magazine and discussed the idea and inspiration behind Rent frock Repeat. Click here to read the full article.

The post PRESS: Canadian Retailer Magazine Article appeared first on Frockology.

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Dec 30 2015
Wishing all of our followers a very happy, safe and love filled 2016! We will leave you with this song, Covered in Snow, by our very own Fireese! more...

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Dec 29 2015
Are you looking to make a change in your life but are afraid or just… more...

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Dec 29 2015
Are you looking to make a change in your life but are afraid or just… more...

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Dec 29 2015

New Years Eve is the perfect event to display a gorgeous outfit! Yes, ringing in the new year with people you love is important, but we here at RfR know how important it is to have the perfect New Years Eve frock! Our co-founder Kristy Wieber was on Canada AM this week to discuss the perfect outfit for any New Years Eve event you are attending. To watch the full clip, […]

The post PRESS: Canada AM NYE Outfits appeared first on Frockology.

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Dec 29 2015
A couple of years ago I shared my own New Year’s tradition with you and it has been a popular topic so I am ready to update it for 2016. You see instead of making resolutions or goals, I take some time to tune into what I am feeling the energy of the New Year is bringing forth in me. I then pick 3 or 4 words that capture the essence of that energy to be my Intention Words for the coming year. Continue reading more...

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Dec 28 2015

From Kenta and the Big Wave by Ruth Ohi. During this season of gift giving, a present might take the form of the unexpected, as shown in these books that you may want to share with your children. What Not to Give Your Mom on Mother’s Day Written by Martha Simpson. Illustrated by Jana Christy. […]

The post Ruth Ohi’s Kenta and the Big Wave and More appeared first on Good News Toronto | Our everyday heroes....

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Dec 25 2015
From all of us to all of you, have a lovely Christmas! The post Merry Christmas! appeared first on Toronto Mom Now. more...

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Dec 24 2015
For most people the holidays mean being surrounded by friends and family and enjoying age-old holiday traditions together. However sometimes if you’re single, not close to your family or live in a different city, the holidays can feel lonely. When … Continue reading more...

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Dec 24 2015
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Dec 21 2015

In case you didn’t know, our co-founders Lisa and Kristy started Rent frock Repeat from the ground up. It all began when the pair was invited to a wedding one March. Neither wanted to spend the money or time on yet another dress that would be worn once, then subsequently tossed in the closet to collect dust and eventually be forgotten. The pair had seen an article about a U.S.-based dress rental service, […]

The post Ask Lisa And Kristy: How Do You Manage A Work And Life Balance? appeared first on Frockology.

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Dec 21 2015

The Yonge Street Business Improvement Association has offered up five steps they believe will make Yonge Street more loveable.

The post Downtown BIA on a Mission to Make Yonge Street More Lovable appeared first on Good News Toronto | Our everyday heroes....

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Dec 19 2015
It has taken me YEARS to come to terms with CHRISTMAS being a time of celebration. I miss my mom EXTRA at Christmas. On this day, 18 years ago, I said good-bye to the most important woman in my world, my beautiful mom after a battle with cancer. That was the most painful Christmas of […] more...

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Dec 18 2015
When hosting a holiday party you may feel a lot of pressure to have everything be perfect. Friends and family you haven’t seen in a long time will be around and you probably want to impress them. Here are some … Continue reading more...

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Dec 18 2015
My last post on this blog was in February….I haven’t been moved to write…..until today!! In this morning’s paper, there was an article by Eileen Chadnick with the title “End of the year: It’s time to relfect and start anew – Over the final weeks of December, taking time to seriously ponder these 12 questions [...] more...

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Dec 17 2015
Do you hear that sound? It's the sound of the home stretch. The approach of the end of another year. Christmas, Nat King Cole and reindeers, BOXING DAY! It’s also the time where I close up the blogging shop for 2 weeks to spend time with my family. As you know, it's my gift I give myself every July and December. I rest the mind, and come back rested and rejuvenated with fresh content in January. more...

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Dec 17 2015

Aged Pu’er Tea (Pu’erh/Pu-erh/Pu-er) What is aged tea and why do we pay premium prices for it? While you […]

The post A Brief History of Pu’er Tea appeared first on News - teALCHEMY.

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Dec 17 2015
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Dec 17 2015
Colours have long been used for their energetic and psychological properties in healing, functionality, design as well as in marketing. Here are a few of my thoughts on the combination of red and green for this time of year. Continue reading more...

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Dec 17 2015
Aged Pu’er Tea (Pu’erh/Pu-erh/Pu-er) What is aged tea and why do we pay premium prices for it? While you can age many kinds of tea, pu’er is by far the most sought-after and the one we’re asked about most. It also happens to be one of our favourites, so we’ve decided to shed some light on […] more...

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Dec 17 2015

This week’s Rent frock Repeat Customer of the Week, is Candice Dixon! Candice rented the Onyx Long Sleeve Mesh and Lace Mini by Narces, and looked absolutely stunning. This little black number is perfect for women who love the idea of a little black dress, but want to add a little something more to the look. The intricate lace and knitted detail along the arms and upper body create sheer sultry look to the dress while […]

The post Customer Of The Week: Candice Dixon appeared first on Frockology.

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Dec 17 2015
Aged Pu'er Tea (Pu'erh/Pu-erh/Pu-er) What is aged tea and why do we pay premium prices for it? While you can age many kinds of tea, pu'er is by far the most sought-after and the one we’re asked about most. It also happens to be one of our favourites, so we’ve decided to shed some light on […] more...

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Dec 17 2015
To say that Oprah and Jack Canfield’s work and teachings have impacted my life is a big understatement. For the past 19 years alone, I have been keeping a Gratitude Journal, based on an interview that Oprah did with Sarah Ban Breathnach. I have been learning from Jack Canfield for just about as long a... more...

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Dec 16 2015




"A leader...is like a shepherd.

He stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go out ahead,

whereupon the others follow, not realizing that all along

they are being directed from behind."


 Nelson Mandela





And you just never know where or when you are going to learn some important leadership lessons.   Recently I witnessed true leadership when musician Jesse Cook performed on stage in Guelph.


How?   As a Juno-award winning musician, he has a big following and it would have been all too easy for him to just perform on stage and take all the limelight.  But he didn’t.   Here’s some of the business lessons I gleaned from watching him on stage.


Lesson #1 – Build a team of people who bring different talents to the group.

Like all good leaders he has surrounded himself with extremely talented people, who can play a wide range of instruments, many of which I suspect he can’t play.  


Lesson #2 – Let each person in the group shine and showcase their talents

Throughout the concert, each player in the band was given several opportunities to do a solo, enabling them to highlight their specific skills and feel part of the group’s success.


Lesson #3 – At meetings, introduce your team so clients know who they are

Jesse made a point of naming his colleagues whenever he could.


Lesson #4 – If people have been on your team for many years, acknowledge their contribution

It was impressive to hear how long the musicians had been playing together.  It also gave credibility to the group and spoke to how cohesive as a team they were. 


Last, it speaks again to Jesse’s leadership style.  It wasn’t all about him.  He was the shepherd.



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Dec 16 2015




"A leader...is like a shepherd.

He stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go out ahead,

whereupon the others follow, not realizing that all along

they are being directed from behind."


 Nelson Mandela





And you just never know where or when you are going to learn some important leadership lessons.   Recently I witnessed true leadership when musician Jesse Cook performed on stage in Guelph.


How?   As a Juno-award winning musician, he has a big following and it would have been all too easy for him to just perform on stage and take all the limelight.  But he didn’t.   Here’s some of the business lessons I gleaned from watching him on stage.


Lesson #1 – Build a team of people who bring different talents to the group.

Like all good leaders he has surrounded himself with extremely talented people, who can play a wide range of instruments, many of which I suspect he can’t play.  


Lesson #2 – Let each person in the group shine and showcase their talents

Throughout the concert, each player in the band was given several opportunities to do a solo, enabling them to highlight their specific skills and feel part of the group’s success.


Lesson #3 – At meetings, introduce your team so clients know who they are

Jesse made a point of naming his colleagues whenever he could.


Lesson #4 – If people have been on your team for many years, acknowledge their contribution

It was impressive to hear how long the musicians had been playing together.  It also gave credibility to the group and spoke to how cohesive as a team they were. 


Last, it speaks again to Jesse’s leadership style.  It wasn’t all about him.  He was the shepherd.



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Dec 16 2015
I’m always on the lookout for great gift ideas for kids. I love gifts that give back to the world. Nowadays it’s so easy to go to a toy store and buy a gift; the selection is amazing the prices are low. But I’m realizing that my kids don’t need things, they have lots of(...) more...

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Dec 16 2015
No, this post isn't about how the economy will perform next year. It's about asking for what you're worth, in your existing job or in a new one. As women, we tend to be afraid to negotiate. A meaningless fear? Not entirely. Harvard University researcher Hannah Bowles has shown that women who ask for more money are more likely to be negatively perceived than men who ask. more...

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Dec 16 2015

There is something so satisfying flipping through a glossy fashion magazine, and seeing someone you know, let alone seeing someone you know in an Rent frock Repeat dress! We, here at Rent frock Repeat were ecstatic to see RfR customers Valerie McMurtry and Michelle Feibig in the Diary Of The Week page in Hello! Canada magazine. Both Valerie and Michelle rented their frocks from Rent frock Repeat and looked absolutely stunning! To […]

The post PRESS: HELLO! Canada appeared first on Frockology.

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Dec 15 2015

7 THINGS TO THINK ABOUT WHEN CHOOSING YOUR WEDDING SHOES

via 


http://www.harpersbazaar.co.uk/

You might think that 'white' and 'pretty' would be the only two factors you need to take into consideration when picking the shoes for your big day. But you'd be wrong. From the height of your husband-to-be to the heating in the church, here are seven more things to consider...

1. The Weather 
It’s frustrating that the only thing you can’t control about your wedding day (aside from drunken uncles) is the weather. So don’t let your footwear be your downfall. If you’ve opted for a winter wedding, order a fur-lined pair of white Hunter wellies for the trip to the church (you can then do a quick shoe swap in the back of the car). In summer, avoid swollen feet with a cool pair of strappy heels – also the perfect excuse to show off your bridal pedicure. 

2. Your Venue

Weather aside, your venue also dictates your choice of footwear. Beach weddings call for barefoot (or sandals that are easy to slip on and off), while a city wedding lets you take your pick. But if you’re hosting the nuptials in a field or garden, an unseen puddle or cowpat could prove disastrous. We recommend having a spare pair of emergency flats to hand, whatever the venue or season. 

3. Avoiding Peril





Whoever designed church-heating systems didn’t have high heels in mind, hence the perilous floor gratings that line the walkways. So, if you don’t want to be stopped in your tracks as you gracefully glide down the aisle, opt for dainty ballet flats or a chunky heel. Alternatively, do a recce at the rehearsal so you and your dad can avoid the danger zones. 

4. Make Them Your Own 

It’s the little things that make a wedding, so apply that to your shoes. Add something personal on the sole like your name, the date or even “I do”. Jimmy Choo has launched a new made-to-order service specifically for bridal footwear.

5. Your Height, His Height 

The height of your heel should depend on two things: the length of your leg and the length of your husband-to-be’s. This won’t be a problem if your betrothed is tall, but if he’s erring on the small side, pick a shorter heel so that you don’t tower over him in those all-important wedding photos. Also, it sounds obvious, but you need to be able to walk in them (preferably gracefully). So don't go too high if you're not used to it.


6. Plan Ahead
Offbeat wedding shoe ideas and how to pull them off - Wedding Party: If you want to be on the dance floor all night, make sure your feet are as pain-free as possible. Keep a stash of plasters, cushioned insoles or gel pads to hand (for you and your bridesmaids) - and don't forget the option of swapping into your emergency flats. Or, for the alternative bride, there's always the option to order a pair of white, wedged trainers or a personalised pair of Converse that will allow you to throw your shapes well into the early hours. 

7. The After Party 

You may think this wedding is all about you (and possibly the groom), but while you might have sorted your dancing shoes, the likelihood is that your friends haven’t. They have stuffed their clutch bags full of make-up, confetti and tissues leaving no room for an evening alternative. So to stop them dancing barefoot, stock up on a dozen pairs of affordable flip flops to keep in a basket by the dance floor. Trust us, at the end of an injury-free evening, they’ll thank you for it. 



Source of inspiration: http://www.harpersbazaar.co.uk more...

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Dec 15 2015

7 THINGS TO THINK ABOUT WHEN CHOOSING YOUR WEDDING SHOES

via 


http://www.harpersbazaar.co.uk/

You might think that 'white' and 'pretty' would be the only two factors you need to take into consideration when picking the shoes for your big day. But you'd be wrong. From the height of your husband-to-be to the heating in the church, here are seven more things to consider...

1. The Weather 
It’s frustrating that the only thing you can’t control about your wedding day (aside from drunken uncles) is the weather. So don’t let your footwear be your downfall. If you’ve opted for a winter wedding, order a fur-lined pair of white Hunter wellies for the trip to the church (you can then do a quick shoe swap in the back of the car). In summer, avoid swollen feet with a cool pair of strappy heels – also the perfect excuse to show off your bridal pedicure. 

2. Your Venue

Weather aside, your venue also dictates your choice of footwear. Beach weddings call for barefoot (or sandals that are easy to slip on and off), while a city wedding lets you take your pick. But if you’re hosting the nuptials in a field or garden, an unseen puddle or cowpat could prove disastrous. We recommend having a spare pair of emergency flats to hand, whatever the venue or season. 

3. Avoiding Peril





Whoever designed church-heating systems didn’t have high heels in mind, hence the perilous floor gratings that line the walkways. So, if you don’t want to be stopped in your tracks as you gracefully glide down the aisle, opt for dainty ballet flats or a chunky heel. Alternatively, do a recce at the rehearsal so you and your dad can avoid the danger zones. 

4. Make Them Your Own 

It’s the little things that make a wedding, so apply that to your shoes. Add something personal on the sole like your name, the date or even “I do”. Jimmy Choo has launched a new made-to-order service specifically for bridal footwear.

5. Your Height, His Height 

The height of your heel should depend on two things: the length of your leg and the length of your husband-to-be’s. This won’t be a problem if your betrothed is tall, but if he’s erring on the small side, pick a shorter heel so that you don’t tower over him in those all-important wedding photos. Also, it sounds obvious, but you need to be able to walk in them (preferably gracefully). So don't go too high if you're not used to it.


6. Plan Ahead
Offbeat wedding shoe ideas and how to pull them off - Wedding Party: If you want to be on the dance floor all night, make sure your feet are as pain-free as possible. Keep a stash of plasters, cushioned insoles or gel pads to hand (for you and your bridesmaids) - and don't forget the option of swapping into your emergency flats. Or, for the alternative bride, there's always the option to order a pair of white, wedged trainers or a personalised pair of Converse that will allow you to throw your shapes well into the early hours. 

7. The After Party 

You may think this wedding is all about you (and possibly the groom), but while you might have sorted your dancing shoes, the likelihood is that your friends haven’t. They have stuffed their clutch bags full of make-up, confetti and tissues leaving no room for an evening alternative. So to stop them dancing barefoot, stock up on a dozen pairs of affordable flip flops to keep in a basket by the dance floor. Trust us, at the end of an injury-free evening, they’ll thank you for it. 



Source of inspiration: http://www.harpersbazaar.co.uk more...

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Dec 15 2015
Christmas is exactly 10 days away! The holidays are too! Have you been dreaming of last minute travel? Are you also last minute holiday shopping? Well, if you are, I've got your covered on both fronts today. If you recall, I have been a LOYAL member of the Aeroplan program, accumulating Aeroplan Miles as I have spent dollars, for almost 20 YEARS! I have traveled to New York, Florida, New Orleans, rented cars, gone to spas, stayed in hotels, and even booked a romantic getaway to Nassau. All because of Aeroplan that has let me earn miles for dollars spent. more...

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Dec 15 2015
  What a year 2015 has been for the The Women’s Brain Health Initiative –(WBHI)  a leader in the fight against women’s brain aging disorders and I am proud member of the board of directors. There have been many exciting developments at Women’s Brain Health Initiative this year. We are creating a global discussion on […] more...

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Dec 15 2015
‘Tis the season for gift giving, and fabulous holiday fashion! There’s no better place to stock up on the greatest office party, holiday and New Year's party attire AND gifts than the store on every main street and in every mall across Canada, and online at LeChateau.com. more...

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Dec 15 2015

We’ve all been there, it’s right after the holidays and NYE has come at us out of nowhere. After the hustle and bustle of family and friends, I think we all have a hard time gearing up for the New Year. We all inevitably go to our closet and grab anything with sequins. Sparkle is synonymous with NYE, we all think “if I wear sequins, I’ll fit right in”. Now […]

The post Unconventional New Years Eve Dresses appeared first on Frockology.

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Dec 14 2015
2016 Let's Talk Science Symposia Symposia connect high schools students with post-secondary mentors during a one day, on-campus event highlighting a STEM subject. Learn More > more...

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Dec 14 2015
New Hands-on Activities Want to make Elephant's Toothpaste or a Vortex Cannon? Learn More > more...

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Dec 14 2015
In case you didn’t know, our co-founders Lisa and Kristy started Rent frock Repeat from the ground up. It all began when the pair was invited to a wedding one March. Neither wanted to spend the money or time on yet another dress that would be worn once, then subsequently tossed in the closet to collect dust and eventually be forgotten. The pair had seen an article about a U.S.-based dress rental service, […] more...

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Dec 14 2015
Happy Monday, ladies! Home stretch to the holidays. Can you taste a complete and total rest in your near future? Even if you have just a few days off between Christmas and New Year's, I challenge you to maximize them. And when I mean maximize them, I mean, can you challenge yourself to a complete and total unplug? Can you challenge yourself to actually rest? Maybe stay in bed and watch movies with the fam till noon? I challenge you to STOP this holiday season. more...

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